Piggies

Someone is getting so big!
He discovered his little piggies!!!

Nothin' better than a little baby toe-jam!

Just Some Words...

On December 31, 2012, a dear friend of mine was preparing her relief society lesson and asked the following questions to her Facebook friends:

If you could give advice to your 21 year old self, what would it be?  Also, what important lesson have you learned this year.  Take some time and really think about this....

I had this amazing feeling come over me when I read that.  I knew I had to respond.  It took me a few days to gather my thoughts, but I decided I was going to answer the 2nd question.  I figured with everything I have learned this last year, I knew I could answer the question.

My answer:

When I found out I was pregnant with Cooper, I was completely overjoyed!  I started having dreams about what I wanted for this sweet spirit that was growing inside of me.  Typical new mother emotions.  Then we found out we were having a boy.  Overjoyed again.  My dreams got even bigger because I knew what I was dreaming for.  I knew what I wanted for my son.  I dreamed of him being an amazing basketball player, bookworm, street smart, book smart, friendly, future missionary, temple sealing, etc.  Then came that awful, horrible ultrasound...it was only awful, horrible at the time because of the situation.  Sitting in the doctors office, hearing those words that no parent wants to hear, "...your baby has a genetic abnormality...".  Of course, hearing that, your emotions hit an all-time low.  Your heart sinks.  Your eyes sting with tears.  You can't talk.  You stare at the doctor blankly, and nod at what he is saying, but not hearing anything.  2 days later, you give birth to the most beautiful, handsome, absolutely perfect in every way baby boy.  Almost 3 months later you are sitting in the doctors office again, waiting to hear the results of the 2 genetics tests your baby had.

To what I learned....When we find out we are pregnant, we can't help but have  dreams for the little life Heavenly Father has entrusted in our care.  What we tend to forget, because we get caught up in the moment, even though we have these great dreams, our Heavenly Father has his own dreams or needs for this sweet little spirit, that are completely out of our control.  Because more often than not, we let our emotions take over, instead of looking at the bigger picture, He has ALWAYS had His own dreams/needs for this little spirit.  Although your dreams for you baby has been altered, you realize he most likely will not be that amazing basketball player, or football player, he is still going to be an AMAZING individual.  He will be his own person.  He will be exactly as Heavenly Father planned for him to be.  And no matter what his limitations may be, you will still love him unconditionally.  You will still encourage him to be the very best he can be.  You will encourage other sports that will be easier for him.  You will do EVERYTHING you would have done for this child you dreamed of, you will just do it in a different way.  A way that is more fitting to his situation.

After re-reading what I had wrote, I sat and thought for several minutes.  I kind of felt like my answer was all over the place.  So, to give her a better idea of the lesson I learned, I encouraged her to Google Welcome to Holland,  by Emily Perl Kingsley.  It is so perfect to how I feel.  To one of the most important lessons I learned last year.

My sweet friend sent me a message a little later in the week and told me she had used my experience in her lesson.  To say I was honored, is an understatement.  My dear friend has been through some pretty rough challenges this last year, some that NO parent should have to experience.  After she told me that my experience helped her see the "bigger picture".  Regardless of the dreams we have for our children, Heavenly Father's dreams are the ones that "stick", the ones that really matter.

I will admit, I didn't always feel this way.  When I found out something was wrong with Cooper, I was so angry.  I couldn't understand why Heavenly Father keeps choosing ME to raise children with disabilities and/or challenges.  I couldn't figure out why He had more faith in me, than what I have in myself.  I was angry.  I yelled.  I cried.  I called my Mom and asked her.  I prayed.  And, I cried some more.  Now, 7.5 months later, I am not angry any more.  I am so grateful He chose ME to be Hunter, Paizlei and Cooper's Mommy.  Through all their challenges, I am learning so much.  I am learning about me.  I am learning I'm strong.  I will fight for what is right for my children.  I will love them unconditionally.  I do have more faith in myself than I originally thought.  I am SO, BEYOND GRATEFUL, BEYOND HONORED, that He chose me.  ME!  To be their mother.

Cooper - 3 Months

(Photo idea found on Pinterest)

Cooper's Stats:

~Weight - 9 lbs 5 oz - below the "average" growth curve

~Height - 20" long - below the "average" growth curve

Head circumference - 17" - 85% on the "average" growth curve

~Eats 3 oz every 2-3 hours

~Is fed breast milk

~Bed time bottle is fortified with 1.5 scoops of formula for added calories

~Cooper learned to smile

~He started to discover his voice somewhat and would chatter a little

~He brings his arms together at his chest

~He LOVES his tongue and plays with it

~He learned to follow Mommy when she leaves the room

~He is still an amazing sleeper and sleeps through the night, usually from 8-9pm until 8-9am without needing a feeding in the middle of the night

~Cooper had his first ear infection and was put on antibiotics

~Hunter & Paizlei ADORE Cooper

~Cooper ADORES Hunter & Paizlei

~He LOVES his swing...its still his FAVORITE place to be

~He LOVES to be swaddled at night

~On August 21, 2012, we got Cooper's microarray and chromosome analysis test results back and found out that Cooper has Achondroplasia, the most common form of Dwarfism.  We also found out Cooper has a microdeletion in chromosome 15, which is common in some Autism cases.

Dwarfism Awareness Fact 8 & 9

This really isn't a Dwarfism Awareness fact...however, it has helped me see things in a whole new light.  It is now my new FAVORITE!  Enjoy!

Dwarfism Awareness Fact #7

Disproportionate Dwarfism is characterized by one or more body parts being unusally large or small compared to the rest of the body.  In Achondroplasia, one's trunk is usually of average size, while one's limbs are being proportionately shorter, one's head usually larger, and a prominent forehead.  In at lease on case of Achondroplasia resulted in a significantly smaller trunk and head.  Facial features are often affected and individual body parts may have problems associated with them.  Orthopedic problems can result from multiple conditions such as diastrophic dysplasia and pseudoachondroplasia.

Dwarfism Awareness Fact #6

70% of the cases of Dwarfism are attributed to Achondroplasia.  This is an autosomal dominant disorder that is caused due to presence of abnormal allele in the genome.  There is a mutation in the FGFR3 (fibroblast growth factor receptor gene 3).  This gene acts as an inhibitor to bone growth.  The symptoms of Dwarfism due to Achondroplasia are short limbs, increase in spinal curvature, distorted skull growth and average sized trunk.

Dwarfism Awareness Fact #5

Achondroplasia (the form of Dwarfism that Cooper has) is a genetic, or inherited, condition that results in abnormally short stature.  Achondroplasia is the most common cause of short stature with disproportionately short limbs.  The average height of an adult with Achondroplasia is 4' 4" in males, and 4' 1" in females.

Dwarfism Awareness Fact #3

The word “midget” is considered highly offensive.  Terms such as Little People, LP, Person of short stature or Person with a form of Dwarfism are all acceptable.  Most people with Dwarfism see the word “Dwarf” as acceptable.  However, most people would rather be referred to by their name than by a label.

Dwarfism Awareness Fact #2

Achondroplasia affects about 1 in every 40,000 births worldwide.  There does not appear to be any racial preference.   Males and females are affected equally.  It is thought that 80% of all Little People have achondroplasia.

That's quite the statistic Cooper belongs in!

Dwarfism Awareness Fact #1

Did you know that 85% of children born with Achondroplasia (the most common form of Dwarfism, and the form of Dwarfism that my Cooper has) are born of parents who are average height and are not diagnosed with Achondroplasia?

Awareness

October 1st marks 31 days of 

Dwarfism Awareness!

I am SO EXCITED about it!

In honor of my sweet little Cooper,

And to support my sweet little Cooper,

Every day for the month of October

I am going to post something about

Dwarfism to help raise awareness.

Here's to you, R Cooper Kash Vincent!

Cooper's 2 Month Stats...

On July 25, 2012, Cooper had his 2 month well-baby visit.  Here are his stats:

~Weight - 8 lbs 13 oz - 0.14% on the growth chart

~Length - 19 3/4" long - below the 2% on the growth chart

~Head circumference - 15 3/4" - 82% on the growth chart

~Cooper is still an amazingly good baby.

~He sleeps from about 8pm until 8 or 9am without waking for a midnight feeding.

~He LOVES to be swaddled.

~He LOVES to be talked to.

~He LOVES when Hunter reads him a story.

~He falls asleep when Paizlei sings "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star".

~He eats 3oz.

~I am still pumping 6 times a day so he can have the BEST.

~His FAVORITE place to be, is in his swing.

~He HATES to be hot.

~He isn't a very big crier.  He only cries if he is hungry, poopy or to be put back in his swing.

~We are still waiting for an approval from our insurance for Cooper's genetics test.  Dr. Judy is going to call up to the insurance and see if he can do anything to get the ball rolling.

 He doesn't cry much, however, his tiny leggies hurt so bad after his 2 month immunizations.  Made me sad.

 (Photo idea found on Pinterest)

Cooper's One Month Stats...A Little Late

~Once we were able to get over the bilirubin issues and Cooper was able to sleep in his own bed, NOT in the bili-bed, he has been an amazing sleeper.

~He very rarely cries...he only cries if he is hungry, cold or has a messy diaper.  When he does cry, he is so quiet, I have a hard time hearing him.

~Eats 2oz of breast milk every 3 hours.  It still takes him 30 minutes to eat those 2oz.

~He LOVES to be swaddled at night.

~He LOVES his swing...it's his FAVORITE place to be.

~He has his FAVORITE blanket and likes that blanket up by his face.

~Not much of a binkie baby and usually only takes it when he is trying to sleep.

~We were still waiting for the insurance to give us an approval on Cooper's genetic test.

~At one month, Cooper weighed 6 lbs 8 oz (not on the growth curve)

~At one month, Cooper was 17 3/4" tall (3% on the growth curve)

~At one month, Cooper's head circumference was 15" (52% on growth curve)

 I saw this idea on Pinterest and just had to do it with Cooper.  So much fun to watch him change as he grows.

Coop's Test Results

It's really late and I should be in bed.  However, since I am so far behind on my documenting our family happenings, I figured I better do a post about Cooper's test results.

As you know, back when I had my 36 week ultrasound with Cooper, there were some abnormalities with his femurs and humerus bones being shorter than normal.  The doctor went through all the possibilities with Zane and I, those being, Down's Syndrome, Trisomy 13, Trisomy 18 and Dwarfism.  After several weeks of waiting on our insurance to give us an approval to have the test (please note, that approval DOES NOT GUARANTEE they will pay for the test...will explain in another post), we got the approval Wednesday, August 2, 2012.  It took over a month to get the approval.  The reason it took so long, is because genetics tests are EXTREMELY expensive and a lot of insurance companies will not cover them.

After waiting for so long to get the approval, I figured it wouldn't be any different to wait to take Coop in to get the blood draw on Zane's day off.  I took Coop in on Tuesday, August 7, 2012.  I was SO proud of my sweet little guy, he didn't even cry.  They had to get anywhere between 1-5 cc's of blood, which meant they had to do a full stick blood draw.  Thankfully, they only had to poke him once, and in the one poke they were able to get just over 3 cc's of blood.  So grateful for such an experienced phlebotomist.  Now, another waiting game begins!

On Tuesday, August 21, 2012, the first day of school, it was about 10:25am and I got a call from Melissa, Dr. Judy's nurse, who said they had results from Cooper's microarray test.  I was super nervous, anxious, shaky, my head was spinning, I was feeling all sorts of emotions.  I picked Hunter up from school, took he and Paizlei across town to my friend Emily's to play while Coop and I went to the doctor to discuss the results.  We waited for what seemed like FOREVER...it was really only 5-10 minutes.  Once we were called back, it only took a few minutes for the doctor to come in.  He said there are two things going on in the test.  The first, he tells me, Cooper has Achondroplasia, the most common form of Dwarfism.  He goes on and tells me a little bit about it and the characteristics that are visible on Cooper, his prominent forehead, shorter limbs, short fingers, and low muscle tone.  Once he is done telling me about the Achon, he tells me the test also found a small deletion in chromosome 15, which that deletion is common/consistent in Autism.  That didn't really surprise me since Hunter has a medical diagnosis and educational classification of Autism.  The doctor didn't really spend much time on the deletion and went back to the Achon issue.  He said Cooper is going to be a Little People and wouldn't get much taller than about 4'3"-4'6".  He also explained to me because of how the spine grows, Cooper could have back problems such as spinal stenosis and could possibly need aids to help him walk.

After discussing the Achondroplasia for about 30 minutes, we left with a referral to meet with a geneticist  at PCMC.  I left the office with this unbelievably calm, at ease feeling.  I remember feeling and thinking, this is definitely going to be a long, trying journey, but we can do it.

As I have had time to let this all sink in and research it, I'm excited and nervous, but I know with every part of my being that we can handle this.  Just like our doctor (also our Bishop) told me when we were discussing the test results, Heavenly Father doesn't give us more than we can handle.  These words keep going over in my mind when I am having a rough day with the kids, or when I second guess myself on raising Cooper to the best of my abilities.  Already, I have met some amazing people on Facebook's LPOA Utah Chapter FB page.  They have been so great at answering my MANY questions, giving me suggestions, referrals, advice.  I'm REALLY excited for this journey and the AMAZING people we will meet on the way.

Bilirubin Battle

Early in the morning the Saturday after Cooper was born (May 26, 2012), I noticed he was getting really yellow.  It didn't come as a shock to me, as both Hunter and Paizlei struggled with high biliruben numbers.  After the doctor came in on Saturday morning, he ordered a bilirubin blood test.  Coop's numbers came back at 14.  He was immediately started on the biliblanket.  I LOVED the biliblanket, because we were still able to hold him.  That night, he had to have another test, his numbers were up just a couple points...nothing too high.  The lab tested him again on Sunday morning.  We were hoping to get discharged Sunday morning, but that didn't happen, because his numbers weren't going down fast enough.  He had another test at 7pm.  We waited forever before we got the results.  Finally at 9:30pm, the nurse came in and said his numbers were low enough, the doctor was comfortable discharging us, but Coop had to be under bili lights at home.  The nurses arranged for home health to bring a biliblanket and a bilibed to our home that night.

At 9:45pm, we were loaded in the car and headed the whole block home.  Home health called Zane on our drive home and said they wouldn't be there until after 11pm.  Finally, at 11:30pm, they show up, set up the bilibed, go over everything with us, how to use it, how to clean it.  It ended up being the WORST fist night home in 3 kids.  Cooper HATED the bilibed!  All he did was cry.  I got frustrated with standing at the crib patting his tummy, after standing there for 3 hours, I put the bilibed on the floor and laid next to him. Still, all he did was cry.  After another hour or two of fighting, I gave up, put the biliblanket on his back and wrapped him in a blanket and held him the rest of the night.  Little did I know that would be THE BIGGEST mistake!

I took Cooper back to the hospital for another bili test Monday morning, as ordered by the doctor upon discharge.  Because it was Memorial Day, the doctor was out of town, so we had to wait to find out the results until he was back in town.  About 6:30, the charge nurse, Megan, called and said she had talked to the doctor, and he wanted me to take him back to the hospital for more blood work and another bili test.  About 7:15, the nurse came in and told me Cooper's bilirubin was at 19.1!  Way too high for the doctor to be comfortable with Cooper being at home.  He was re-admitted into the hospital on dual light therapy, IV Dextrose and formula only (I am nursing him).  I was devastated!  I did everything I could do to hold in my emotions until we were in our room.  Once there, I couldn't hold it in any longer.  I sent Zane a text and told him Cooper was being re-admitted and we needed the bili-bed at the hospital, and gave him a list of everything he needed to bring for us.

Once we were settled in our room, 2 nurses, Shayla and Jodie, came in and got Cooper's IV started, thankfully with only one poke.  He was not a happy baby.  I was already in tears, but watching them poke my baby and hear him crying, made me cry even more.  I kept thinking I needed to get Zane back there somehow to give Cooper a preisthood blessing, however, we couldn't get a hold of his uncle to come help him, and we couldn't find anyone to sit with the kids while he left.  So, I sent a text message to my friend Erin to see if her husband would be able to come down and give Cooper a blessing.  He jumped on it and found his neighbor to come help him.  While I was waiting for Woody and Brian to get there, the doctor showed up to check on Cooper.  He could tell I was having a VERY difficult time with it.  After he was done doing his assessment, he asked me if I had any questions or concerns.  I told him I was really mad at myself for leaving on Sunday night, because I was tired of being in the hospital and just wanted to go home and sleep in my own bed, be in my own home (I was given the option to stay til morning or go home on Sunday), I didn't even think about the Cooper and his battle with the bilirubin.  I was mad because I should have thought about Cooper before myself.  He told me not to think that way.  He said Cooper's numbers were going down and he felt comfortable sending us home last night.  Some babies just struggle and their numbers fluctuate.  He told me it wasn't my fault, still, it didn't make me feel any better.  I was still crying.  Before he left, he came around to where I was standing, and said, "I'm taking off my doctor coat and putting on my bishop coat" (he is also our bishop), asked me if there was anything he could do or any way he could help of the ward could help.  As he was walking out of the room, Woody and Brian showed up.  We had a brief ward gathering in the room for a minute, then he left.  Both Cooper and I received beautiful preisthood blessings.  I felt so much comfort and love from Heavenly Father.  My only wish was that Zane could have been the one to give us a blessing.

Cooper had another bili test when we arrived at the hospital on Monday night, not sure what the bilirubin was at.  He was tested again at 2am and 7am.  From that time, with the help of the IV Dextrose and the dual light therapy (the bili-bed and the bili-blanket), his bilirubin went from 19.1 to 16.4!  We were trending down!  Still not low enough to go home, but we were happy to hear the numbers were going down.  They tested him again at 7pm and he only dropped to 14.8.  I was starting to get really frustrated at this point, especially where he had such a HUGE drop in the short amount of time throughout the night.  The doctor came in that morning before clinic hours and said that if his numbers are still trending down at his 7pm test, the nurse would turn off the IV and see if his body can fight it without the need of the sugar water.  His 7pm test came back at 12.6.  Off went the IV.

Cooper was tested again Wednesday morning at 6:30am.  That test came back at 11!  The doctor came in before his clinic hours and discharged Cooper, with strict instructions:  Keep him under the lights day and night, taking him out only to change his diaper, to feed him and to take him in for bili tests.  I could reintroduce him to breast milk.

Over the next several days, Cooper's numbers were constantly going up and down.  I was FINALLY able to turn the lights off when Cooper was 13 days old, when he was tested again and his bilirubin was at 8.4.  I called my Mom in tears and told her I was finally able to hold, snuggle, smell, love, kiss...do all those fun things you do when you have a newborn...with my baby!  I FINALLY got to experience my newborn.

Cooper spent the first week of his tiny life in the hospital.  He spent most of his first week and all of his second week in lights.  No clothing, other than a diaper and socks.  No blanket.  No swaddling.  Poor little guy had 2 IV's before he was even 2 weeks old.

Just Some Photos

LOVE this photo with Paizlei!  She was so curious and soaked in everything about Baby Cooper!

I'm NOT to fond of these photos of me because my face looks really swollen and I think I look horrible.  But, I have to give myself a break because I had just given birth.

I love teeny tiny baby feet!

The night he was born, he wasn't able to sleep in my room because they had to keep him on CPAP to help push air into his lungs.  He was having a little bit of an issue breathing, but after 12 hours on CPAP, he was breathing just fine.  This photo is of his 2nd night...my room was FREEZING and I wasn't able to adjust the thermostat.

My 3 adorable kids!  I LOVE them more than I can put into words.

It took several days for Hunter to finally warm up and want to hold Cooper.  Once he did...well, you can see how excited and proud he was by the look on his face.  LOVE IT!!!

My little Mommy!  She scares me with Cooper!  She wants to help out WAY TOO MUCH!

My 4 FAVORITES!!!  LOVE them!!!

I LOVE this photo too!  I LOVE how his adorable bottom lip is curled under and his tongue is ALWAYS sticking out.  Very rarely is his mouth closed and/or his tongue not sticking out.  Seriously, so cute!

The night he was born and after doing the CPAP for a while, the doctor ordered a X-RAY, which found pneumonia one of Cooper's lungs.  That same night, not even 6 hours old, Cooper had to get an IV so he could get some antibiotics to fight the pneumonia.  On Saturday morning, the doctor started him on the bili lights for jaundice.  Poor baby!

My sweet little glowing baby!  Cooper wrapped up in the bili blanket.

A Birth Story

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Back when I found out I was pregnant and when my due date was, I was constantly worried I was going to have the baby the day of Hunter's preschool graduation, or go into labor, either contractions or my water breaking at the graduation.  I was so happy when Wednesday, May 23rd came and I wasn't in labor...YET!  I was able to make it to Hunter's graduation, and we were able to go do something fun for him to let him know we were proud of him.

3:00pm - (Estimated time) Contractions started!  They were small and not very frequent or intense, so I went about my business and got some things done I needed to get done, like laundry, finish packing my hospital bag, directions for Hunter's medication and pick up my house.

7:30-8:00pm - Contractions were 5-7 minutes apart, fairly intense and very consistent.  I called Zane at work and told him he probably needed to start heading home (it's about a 15-20 minute drive).  By the time he got home, I had been having contractions every 5-7 minutes for roughly 2 hours.  They were increasing in intensity and length.  Once we decided it was time to go to the hospital, Zane called his AMAZING Mom, who came over to stay with our kids...who were already tucked into bed and fast asleep.

8:30pm - We arrived at the hospital.  Because I was only 36 weeks 6 days, my doctor wanted to do a NST before he admitted me.  After about 15 minutes of being hooked up to the monitors, the nurse (Heather) came in and checked me.  I was dilated to a 3 and was 60% effaced.  I still had a LONG way to go, however, the doctor decided to keep me.  About 8:45, I was given an IV and fluids and antibiotics were being pumped into me.  All the while, I was having a fit because I wanted to see who won American Idol.  Priorities, right?  I was so excited, as was Zane and my nurse, when Phillip Phillips was announced the winner!  LOVE him!!!

10:30pm - My doctor came in.  He said he wanted to watch me and see what happens...see how I progress.  He told me if the contractions get more intense and I am not able to sleep through them, he would come back and do the epidural.

Thursday, May 24, 2012

12:30am - The nurse came in and checked me again.  I was now dilated to a 4.  Still only 60% effaced.  Contractions are still coming consistently every 5 minutes and are getting more intense. I still press forward without the epidural.

2:30am - The nurse came in again and checked me.  I was dilated to a "good 4, almost 5".  The contractions were starting to get painful, so I had her call the doctor for the epidural.

2:45am - The doctor came in and checked me again, and clarified what the nurse had said.  The nurse had everything prepped and ready for the doctor to do the epidural.  I sat up, turned to the side of the bed, put my feet on a chair.  My back was cleaned...BRRRR!!!!  and the placement of the epidural was well underway.  The only sting I felt was from the Lidocain to numb me.

3:00am - The epidural was in.  Because I am allergic to Fentenyl, a common drug used in epidurals, my doctor told me he was only going to use Lidocain and Centrocain (or something like that).  My right side was really good and numb.  I was able to move my toes and my legs a tiny bit.  My left side was barely numb.  BOOO!!  The nurse put a pillow under my right side to see if re-positioning would help move the drugs a little better to my left side.  It helped on a little, and only as long as I was tilted to the left side.

3:45am - I started getting a horrible migraine...most likely from the epidural. I remember with both Hunter and Paizlei, once I got the epidural, I got horrible headaches.  The nurse gave me a couple Tylenol.  I didn't want to take anything too heavy because I wanted to be coherent and be able to focus on pushing and Baby.  She said the doctor had ordered an Ambien if I wanted.  I told her if I take it, I will be completely out of it, and I wanted to remember ONE of my babies births, so I didn't want to take it.

4:35am - I am checked again.  I am dilated "closer to a 5, but still not a 5 yet".  The cervix had thinned out "A LOT SINCE COMING IN".  Baby is still not engaged.  I was a little confused because at my appointment on Monday, my doctor said he was head down and his head was engaged.  The nurse told me the can engage, then float back up.

5:30am - New nurse (Lorie).  I called for a nurse because I felt like I was leaking something.  I was hoping for amniotic fluid, however, it was just the mucus plug.  She checked me AGAIN, but didn't say where I was at.  She also gave me a couple more Tylenol as the headache had now moved to my right eye.  I still feel everything in my left side.  Told the nurse, who said she would let the doctor know.

7:30am - My bladder was emptied in hopes that Baby would move back down and re-engage his head.  I was checked AGAIN...still at an almost 5.  Contractions are still really consistent, and from what I can feel on my left side, they are still VERY intense and getting worse.

9am - Contractions have died down.  I had "become a product of the epidural", according to my doctor.  I was started on Pitocin, starting out at 14cc's and upping the dose by 14cc's every 30 minutes until I reach my maximum.  The epidural was also shut off.  Once contractions picked back up, the epidural would be turned back on.

11:40am - My doctor came in and checked me.  I am FINALLY at a 5 and 805 effaced!!!  YAY!!! Half way there.  Epidural started again.  Every time he came in, I always had my phone in my hand.  He asked me, jokingly, if I was "updating my status".  Gave me a good laugh.  I told him, "No!  I'm charting the progression of my labor so I could remember it, because I don't remember much, only the bad things, from Hunter & Paizlei's births and I wanted to remember as much as I could about this one.".

12:20pm - In a lot of pain with each contraction...mainly on my left side.

3:30pm - The doctor came in and checked me.  I am now at a "good 5".  Contractions were coming more frequent and more intense.  He decided to break my water to really get me going.

4:45pm - I am now dilated to a 6-7.  I'm really having to focus and breathe through the contractions, because I can still feel everything in the left side.  I told the nurse a dozen times that I could feel everything on the left side, and it was very painful.  She said she would let the doctor know.   The nurse got everything set up and ready for delivery.

5:00pm - New nurse (Shayla).

5:30pm - I am now dilated to a 9!  Baby moved down and was causing A LOT of pain and pressure.  I wanted to push so bad.  The nurse called the doctor, thank goodness he was at his clinic just across the small parking lot.  At one point, the pain was so intense, I remember saying a cuss word (I don't say cuss words a lot, so Zane knew I was in some pain for me to swear).

5:40pm - The doctor was FINALLY there!  Still in a lot of pain.  I was begging for the doctor and nurse to "please hurry" because I hurt so bad.  I was in tears I hurt so bad...but only on my left side.

5:43pm - I was finally able to start pushing.  It was one of the greatest feelings to be able to push through the contractions and focus on something other than the pain.  In between pushing, the doctor asks me why I didn't say anything about being able to feel my left side.  I told him I mentioned it to the nurse who kept telling me she was going to "let you know".  Apparently, she never let him know.

6:03pm - R. Cooper Kash Vincent was born!!!  The moment his head popped out was one of the most glorious moments EVER!  It seriously POPPED!!!  Not only did I feel the POP, but I heard it and a BIG splash of amniotic fluid.  I don't think I even had to push for the rest of his body to come out, because I think all of him came out the same time his head did.

6:04pm - After the doctor cleaned him off a little bit and clamped the umbilical cord, Zane got to cut it.  Something he didn't get the opportunity to do with Paizlei).  It was pretty cool, because I was coherent and was able to watch him cut the cord and see the look on his face and the tears in his eyes.  Once the umbilical cord was cut, Cooper was handed to the respiratory therapist to make sure he was breathing good and didn't need any assistance.

6:05pm - My sweet brand new baby was placed in my arms!  I took in every ounce of that moment.  I cried.  I kissed him.  I smelled him.  I stared at him.  I talked to him.  I told him I loved him.  I told him Happy Birthday.  I cried some more.  I FINALLY got to have that moment with one of my babies right after birth.  It was such a beautiful, tender moment I will never forget.  Even writing about it brings tears to my eyes.

I want to thank my AMAZING husband and coach, Zane!  I LOVE you more than you could ever know!  Without you there helping me through labor and delivery, I probably would have given up.  You were AMAZING!  You kept me spirits up!  Said the sweetest things to me when I needed to hear them the most!  You are my best friend in the whole world!  I am so grateful to be able to share 3 BEAUTIFUL children with you!!!

36 Week Ultrasound

On Monday, May 21st, I went in for my first weekly OB appointment.  Everything went great, my weight was where it should be, I was measuring right on, my BP was okay, and I had a small amount of protein in my urine, but nothing to get too excited over.  After palpating my abdomen, the doctor determined Baby head down and engaged.  When he looked at my last ultrasound, which was done at 30 weeks, the radiologist stated in her notes that Baby's femur was measuring small and recommended we do another ultrasound closer to delivery to measure his femur and humerus bones.  He told me that small femur to humerus measurements are consistent with Trisomy disorders, like Down Syndrome (Trisomy 21), and Dwarfism.  To say I was a little nervous was a bit of an understatement.  I walked over to the hospital from the clinic and had the ultrasound.  Other than the femur and humerus measurements being small, the US tech said I was measuring right on for everything else.

At 11:30am on Tuesday morning, the doctor's office called and said the doctor had received the results from the ultrasound and the doctor wanted to meet with me to go over them.  My heart sunk!  I knew it wasn't good, because normally, if there isn't a problem, the nurse will call and tell me everything is fine.  The soonest available appointment he had was at 3:30pm.  I will tell you, it was hell.  It was the LONGEST 4 hours!!!  Time seemed to be standing still that day.

Finally, 3:30 rolled around!  I knew something was up by how the staff was with me.  They are always so kind when I go in there, but this day, the kindness, they seemed to be very...empathetic towards me.  I sat in the waiting room FOREVER!  When the nurse called me back, I was so nervous.  I was using every ounce of self control I had, so I didn't start to cry (darn pregnancy hormones, anyway).  Again, I waited FOREVER...or so it seemed!  Truth be told, it was only about 20 minutes total of waiting time.  The doctor finally came in.  He shook my hand, asked me how I was doing and then was quiet for a few minutes as he did some stuff on the computer.  When he finally got down to business, he could tell I was a bit nervous (probably because of the hives I get on my neck when I get really super nervous), and asked if I was okay.  I told him that depends on what he has to tell me.  He said there was no easy way to tell me other than to just say it.  Okay.  He tells me that Baby's femur and humerus are considerably shorter in my 36 week ultrasound, as compared to my 30 week ultrasound.  He reiterates what he told me the day prior, that these are consistent with Trisomy disorders and Dwarfism and most likely, my baby has one of them.  My heart sunk.  I did everything in my power to keep myself composed.  He said it was best that we go up to Utah Valley and meet with a geneticist and perinatologist to go over the possibilities and another ultrasound on their machine, as well as an amnio.  He asked if I had any questions, which I was too numb to ask even if I did.  He walks me up to the front and asks the gal to schedule the appointment.  We had an appointment scheduled for Wednesday, May 30th, unless I went into labor before then.

As I was sitting at the front, so many of the office staff asked me if I was okay.  They all told me everything would be okay and they were sorry.  My visiting teacher Heidi, works for the other doctor in the clinic and saw me sitting there.  She asked me if I was okay, and that's when I completely lost my composure.  I told her I would have to tell her later because I was crying and didn't really want to talk about it.

The initial shock of being told your unborn baby has something wrong with him, days before delivery, is something I cannot even put into words.  My heart was so heavy.  My head was spinning.  All I could do was cry.  I think I cried most of the rest of the afternoon and most of that night.

After things set in, I know that Heavenly Father chose Zane and I to be his parents for a reason.  I also know that my Baby is one of Heavenly Father's sweetest, most special little spirits and we are SO LUCKY to have been chosen to be his parents.  And no matter what, he will be perfect in our eyes and in our Heavenly Father's eyes.  And we will love him regardless.

One and Only Prego Photo

There are so many ladies who take pictures of themselves each month as they progress through their pregnancy.  I have never been one to do that.  Until now.  I was messing around with my camera a couple days ago and thought I would take the one and only photo of me at the half way mark.

I feel so BIG!!!  In my pregnancies with Hunter and Paizlei I was barely showing at 22 weeks (when this photo was taken).  The funny thing is, I have been this size for a couple of months now, so maybe that's a good sign.  As each month goes by, my tummy gets harder and I am able to feel Baby "C" move with my hand on my tummy.

I will be 23 weeks on Friday.  I feel like the weeks are flying by all the sudden.  It's kind of a great feeling.  I am still on the low end on the weight gain, which I'm not complaining about.  The morning sickness has pretty much subsided, LOVING it!  However, I am having HORRIBLE heartburn.  My doctor has me on Prevacid, but I am still having to take several Tums through-out the day.  Kind of a frustrating thing.  I don't remember having heartburn this bad with H&P.  I am measuring right on track.  One negative thing, I keep having contractions.  My doctor said as long as I don't have more than 4 a day I will be okay.  There are days when I contract 8-10 times a day, and some are really strong, take my breath and hurt clear down my legs.  Because I am high risk for pre-term labor and delivery, I have been instructed to call my doctor when I have days where the contractions are in abundance.  He has yet to have me go in for a non-stress test, most likely because I'm not far enough along yet for the monitors to pick up the contractions.  I'm sure once I hit 23-25 weeks he will be having me do regular non-stress tests.

It's really nice to FINALLY have a pregnancy that I can enjoy!!!  Other than being really super tired, the heartburn and contractions, it's been a really great pregnancy.  And, it's been so much fun with my kids knowing what's going on and being excited about it.  They are always coming up to my tummy and talking to Baby "C".  They both hug my tummy and tell Baby they love him.  Melts my heart.

It's a....

I had my 20 week ultrasound last Wednesday (Jan 24, 2012).  I have to say, the 20 week ultrasound is so full of anticipation.  I don't know how some Mom's don't find out what they are having.  It about killed me sitting there while the US tech got all the stills of everything the doctor and the radiologist want to see.  As she was looking for something in the stomach, this little "snowman" looking thing popped up between the legs.  She was so hilarious!  She kept saying over and over, "Can you see that?", "Can you see that?".  It was a dead giveaway that Baby #3 is a BOY!!!  I had had several dreams prior to the US that Baby was a boy, and I had this feeling it was boy!  It was SO AWESOME to finally get ONE right!!!  Loved every minute of finding out Baby was a BOY!!!  It was great!  Zane just sat there with this goofy look on his face that his thought was completely wrong.

Hunter and Paizlei are both VERY excited to get a boy!  I think Hunter is more excited about it.  And, I was really hoping Baby was a boy simply because I think Hunter would have a really hard time with another little sister.  He wants someone to wrestle and do all the boy things, of which Paizlei is all girl, prissy, full of drama and tears when Hunter barely touches her (she reminds me SO MUCH of me when I was a little girl!), I feel really bad for him.  Now he will have a little playmate that he will be able to wrestle.

Little Dude, as Zane has started calling him, was so stinkin' stubborn during the US.  He was breach and would not change his position.  After working so hard to fill my bladder, I ended up having to empty it halfway through the US.  His little legs were crossed at the ankles throughout the whole US and his little arms were curled up with his hands either in his mouth, by his mouth our tucked under his chin...so much like his big sister.  It was so much fun to see.  I already LOVE this little guy more than I can express!  I cannot wait for the next 19 weeks or so to go by so we can meet him.